KINDNESS OR PEOPLE PLEASING

i’ve known so many people and i’ve never clicked with anyone that breaks the standard of what i think is real kindness.

i’m not nice. people who i lived with, knew i’m not. but if i have to help, i will. I’m not sure either if i am kind but i never act kind. specially, if people are looking or around. i would want them to think i am not nice, then surprise them with a sincere help… and i will, not just an offer. i will. if they refused to, they must be taking life seriously. Hey! we’re all human, loosen up! 

…and that’s a self-reminder first. 

you will find what you seek, so a post by haileypaigemagee on instagram explained really well what’s the difference between kindness and people pleasing.

she elaborated the following...

PEOPLE PLEASING is rooted from,

1. transactionality - i’ll give you this so that you give me something back.
2. obligation - i’m giving you this so that i can’t feel guilty.
3. compulsion - i’m giving you this because i have no idea how not to give you this.
4. loss aversion - i’m giving you this so i don’t lose you.

KINDNESS is rooted from,

1. desire - i really want to give this to you.
2. goodwill - i’m eager to increase that quality of your life because i care about you.
3. choice - i don’t have to do this. i want to do this.

if you are my reader and you are benefited from this post. keep it to yourself and choose kindness. don’t be a people pleasing. 

you can help other understand by sharing this post. 

well, you don’t have to. one person to read this post is all that matter.

J

apple and coffee

have you tried eating this combo? 

ok, so let me make this post a WISHful thoughts for everyone. 

I WISH EVERYONE WILL HAVE UNDERSTANDING ON THE THINGS THEY CAN’T.

past is past. i may wrong people and definitely wronged me, huge. i make mistakes but that doesn’t mean i will stay in that mess. so as them. it’s all about understanding. see, if i hear people telling me i am this and that because i did this and that… well, smart people know that this is only based on their own perspective in life and their own experience. 

let’s look at it this way, why do you think a guy went inside a book store? to buy a book, look for a book but may not buy it. just walking around feeling the books around. you didn’t think of that guy stealing a book, right? impossible. BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE IT! also, you think of the good.

see, you are a positive thinker! GOOD FOR YOU! just like i never believe in same gender relationship because it never occur to me or to my mind.

try apple and coffee together. i insist. 😂

sometimes, my brain works like this. assorted! and it’s okay. we are all human. and i always need my laptop to take all that’s overflowing.

want another mix to this? our road is on construction. bad for the business. very noisy, muddy, few customers because of the road blocks. but think about the outcome after the road is fixed? i am thinking of it. same goes when a woman is pregnant and has to carry a baby inside her body for 9 months long. but the outcome is super rewarding. sure it will take longer than expected. but these are the things that are out of our control. you can’t disagree. 

also, this is a 3-day writing in count. 

thank you for the patience.

the sunlight on my face while writing this this morning is good, too. 

J