bliss

the way you make your mind work is everything.

you ever had an argument with people and disagreed so much you troubled yourself to the point you promised not to deal with them again?

well, i had those. then i realized, it’s occasional and it might be very arrogant of me if i kept the emotional feelings i had during those times. i am very straight forward. i don’t get pulled in dramas. it’s where people thought they’re holding up on their pride where in fact it is the darkness profess as one’s credibility. 

NO.

it is one’s ego. ego loves conflict. but no, maybe their doing the right thing. ok, but wouldn’t it be better if you’re practicing kindness rather than being right?

this is why i write. i am 100% sure i get so much in writing than telling people my problem :)

because the world feels right again when you keep your heart clean and pure.

your soul deserve peace.

J

10:00PM

hey soulmate, 

you are not here, but you are.

i connect with you, even from a far.

our talks were out of these world,

you reflect on every bet of my word.

can’t cut lose, i’m trying to focus.

the comfort in every conversation

is now a lifetime discomfort

how heavy it is to carry on

pressured to live as time goes on

a roommate, a close friend, a mentor,

those who i’ve seen with a sense of humor

that someone with all the sarcastic comments

is now part of my intellectual habits

i’m not a poet

but that is not the point

just taking a moment

in being in the present

because i know

that in my silent moment

i am grateful for the past

i hold it like a glass

…unbroken

and hey, i love who i am.

i share it with whom i love.

the past may be a distraction

accepting the present's imperfection

an only way i can guarantee

bringing it to today is my cup of tea.

-

again, i am not a poet. i have written many of these. but never published, nor re-read. one thing i know for sure, a soulmate is a connection, a mutual understanding, a trust, a comfort, and a compatibility.

it's 10:00pm. goodnight soulmate. <3 

it all depends on you

nothing stays the same, your body can heal. your life can change. you may not see it or feel it but changes happens when you change perspective. you can be sick and people will tell you are sick. you change that when you let your body heal itself. if nature cannot make it, nothing will . your house will always full of clutter if you think it should always be like that. 

…then you clean up😊 

what happens to the clutter? organized. 

what happens to the sick body? healed.

people(plural) tell me how am i doing it?(hiking up a mountain) you are ill, you are weak, you could get cold, your sickness could get worse. that’s their minds telling them that if they climb up the mountain, they will get sick. i tell my mind that if i move and keep going i’ll see how far i can go(God speed). 

yes there is limit but there is no limit when you put God first. 

Love, J

KINDNESS OR PEOPLE PLEASING

i’ve known so many people and i’ve never clicked with anyone that breaks the standard of what i think is real kindness.

i’m not nice. people who i lived with, knew i’m not. but if i have to help, i will. I’m not sure either if i am kind but i never act kind. specially, if people are looking or around. i would want them to think i am not nice, then surprise them with a sincere help… and i will, not just an offer. i will. if they refused to, they must be taking life seriously. Hey! we’re all human, loosen up! 

…and that’s a self-reminder first. 

you will find what you seek, so a post by haileypaigemagee on instagram explained really well what’s the difference between kindness and people pleasing.

she elaborated the following...

PEOPLE PLEASING is rooted from,

1. transactionality - i’ll give you this so that you give me something back.
2. obligation - i’m giving you this so that i can’t feel guilty.
3. compulsion - i’m giving you this because i have no idea how not to give you this.
4. loss aversion - i’m giving you this so i don’t lose you.

KINDNESS is rooted from,

1. desire - i really want to give this to you.
2. goodwill - i’m eager to increase that quality of your life because i care about you.
3. choice - i don’t have to do this. i want to do this.

if you are my reader and you are benefited from this post. keep it to yourself and choose kindness. don’t be a people pleasing.

you can help other understand by sharing this post. 

well, you don’t have to. one person to read this post is all that matter.

J

apple and coffee

have you tried eating this combo? 

ok, so let me make this post a WISHful thoughts for everyone. 

I WISH EVERYONE WILL HAVE UNDERSTANDING ON THE THINGS THEY CAN’T.

past is past. i may wrong people and definitely wronged me, huge. i make mistakes but that doesn’t mean i will stay in that mess. so as them. it’s all about understanding. see, if i hear people telling me i am this and that because i did this and that… well, smart people know that this is only based on their own perspective in life and their own experience. 

let’s look at it this way, why do you think a guy went inside a book store? to buy a book, look for a book but may not buy it. just walking around feeling the books around. you didn’t think of that guy stealing a book, right? impossible. BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE IT! also, you think of the good.

see, you are a positive thinker! GOOD FOR YOU! just like i never believe in same gender relationship because it never occur to me or to my mind.

try apple and coffee together. i insist. 😂

sometimes, my brain works like this. assorted! and it’s okay. we are all human. and i always need my laptop to take all that’s overflowing.

want another mix to this? our road is on construction. bad for the business. very noisy, muddy, few customers because of the road blocks. but think about the outcome after the road is fixed? i am thinking of it. same goes when a woman is pregnant and has to carry a baby inside her body for 9 months long. but the outcome is super rewarding. sure it will take longer than expected. but these are the things that are out of our control. you can’t disagree. 

also, this is a 3-day writing in count. 

thank you for the patience.

the sunlight on my face while writing this this morning is good, too. 

J

January 3, 2023 - New Year, Manila

in frustration to go home. a sarcastic friend of mine said who is taking flights on new year's? well, us! and we’re stuck in manila.

 

here i am. wanting to complain everything since we got here in manila. but having to think of kuala lumpur trip before all this mess makes everything perfect. 

instead of thinking of our misfortune. let me remind myself of all the good things happen to us. because complains won’t solve it. we did everything we could. but we can’t go against nature. 

day one in kuala lumpur, alhamdulillah. i am back again. but with company. my friend and my little sister. 

everything started at the plane take off. that feeling when i know i’ll be in kl at any moment. those people in the aircraft, knowing that they will be walking with us through arrival hall way. i couldn’t contain my feeling. it’s all warm and feeling myself again. not saying i don’t like being in my country. i am saying that traveling is more than home for me. especially meeting old friends. 

there is something in traveling/flights that puts me in another level of good wholesome being. only God knows. and i thank Him for letting me feel it again. it’s all in Him. 

so we arrived at our destination, a residential unit - awesome accommodations. 18th floor. perfect place for sunrise/sunset sightings. good for us, they got the sunrise. mmmm, my favourite.   

five days in kuala lumpur without wasting any minute - haha. and resting is calculated as we needed to get to the next plan as itinerary. ok ok, i wouldn’t go to any details. because we had so much and to put it into writing is going to take a lot of time. i was telling my friend while we were running towards the train, that we did things we were doing in a year, fitting into five days only. that’s when i know i can’t write everything in one post. 

also, i am writing to remind myself of all the good. bad may occur as flight cancellation, passengers complaining, i even heard a black american guy telling other passengers that “manila is a mess" but what’s the worst thing that could happen? we have place to stay in here. it’s just that, it wasn’t the plan and i wouldn’t want to be in any other room but mine. XD you understand, right? ok.

thanks for reading. and i love kl, btw. <3

j

people are nice...

politics isn’t. 

if you want to talk to me about politics, who’s better and who’s not, you’ll probably get an 8-year-old kid's answer. yes, i’m not into politics, that includes talking about it, let alone getting involve in it. let’s be honest, politics to me, is a game of power, authority and most of all, fame. oh, look! i just talked about it, haha! very ironic, because you just can't avoid it. even if you’re the most secluded person you know, as long as you are a person and you have an ears and a mind, and you try to deal with life in whichever you are living, you are in it.

the thing is… when we don’t like something, we can only express it and then do nothing about it. but that’s not to say, you don’t care. when you don’t like a person, or the way that person talks, doesn’t that mean you have invested an observation that made you not liking how that person talk? yeah! same goes with politics and everything that’s going around you.
when i say, people are nice, i don’t refer to their character or behavior. i am referring to the nature of their being. a sad person wasn’t born a sad baby. it’s the environment system on how that baby grow made him/her a sad person. 

writing this with a very open and expanded mind. i am considering everyone i know and everything i had known and most of all, my experiences and other people’s experience that 
have preoccupied me. in this way, i am seeing life far different 10 years ago.
“understanding” is the key… people has to do it because they have to. you can tell them your “right way” of thinking but to them, it might not be convenient, attainable, or even doable. things must be done because sometimes, they have no other choice and it’s their only choice, to move forward and sometimes, to survive in such situation.

so remember, underneath he/she is probably a nice person, most folks are. just understand. and just like you and me, we’re just doing what we think is best for us.

thank you for reading. <3

live | time travel

while reading the book “the magic of thinking big” - currently in it. at its quarter - it occurs to me that sometimes i think, books are just amazing. and just like people, some books you’ll like, some don’t, some gives you the feeling of boredom and some motivates you and even gets you roll out of your bed. well, those are the times when i wasn’t reading at my reading place which is at our rooftop. 

going back to the book i am currently reading mentioned above, on chapter 2, i quote…

“I’m going to live until i die and i’m not going to get life and death confused. while i’m on this earth i’m going to live. why be only half alive? every minute a person spends worrying about dying is just one minute that fellow might as well have been dead.”

that is a man who has a plastic valve on his heart. yet, he smiles and set big plans in his future. 

i’m inspired. 

so i downloaded stuffs i need to learn and here i am writing about what i’m about to do. can you see the destruction there? yeah, ‘cause i’m too inspired not to write.

…there is something about writing that seem overwhelming to me.

i noticed this because i’ve been doing this for a long time. i over think. i gotta admit that. so to keep things to not overflow, i need to store it somewhere, not spill it because then, i overthink on wasting it, or was it? or should i sustain it with other good thoughts? yes, sometimes i just…

THINK ALL ABOUT THE GOOD because entertaining bad thoughts, will only lead to unfavourable thoughts then guess who suffers from it? your physical body. 

i finally got it out from my system.

now let’s talk about the good.

somewhere around 2015 i’ve read something about “the power of mind” not sure if that is the title of the book or was it a chapter title. at that time i had all the things required to fulfil the experiment. environment and people. 

yes, i experimented it. 

so, to my surprise, our mind is so powerful. you can time travel and relive the past, the energy the interest, but never to the extent that you get nostalgic because you were never there and can never get there. but i think, we can only attain the good times and good feelings because by time… we are actually leaving the bad behind and keep the good ones and that is its nature. 

happy time travelling.

J

changes | fated

it’s year 2022 and the word “positive” became frightening and all of a sudden you are either to survive and live or become severe and die. (May Allah protects us all, amen!)

the word “what’s new?” doesn’t even mean asking for personal progress anymore but rather “a virus” that keeps upgrading. what’s the new virus? oh it’s variant of the virus. yeah, whatever, i had enough of people talking about it, here and there... 

IT WON’T CHANGE THE SITUATION ANYWAY.

the stay home stay safe will drive people crazy, it doesn’t work on everyone. a person who loves going out will somehow be with the person who loves being home and now they have to get to know each other. you can be any of this particular kind of person and understand what i meant. 

THIS CHANGES THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT LIFE

see, if this situation doesn’t change a person’s perspective about life, then i don’t know what can change them. i myself had thought of it for so many times and tried to understand why… but sometimes there is just no answer. you just let it happen. and see what comes after it. because life keeps happening either i drink too much coffee or i don’t. 

when lockdown happened back in 2020, i didn’t had a back up plan. it was the downfall of all the things listed on my checklist life-goals living outside the country. it was a tough decision.

i had to go home.

…and restart!

❤️J

Mohammadnoor | the kid next door!

Marawi Smart Kid's Foundation - November, 2018

kids are the most amazing living things in this planet earth. and the most annoying, too. they're curious, playful, pure and just like me, adorable. one of the very important lesson i have gotten when i was leaving my childhood phase, is that, we truly look up for people around us, and they are affecting us as we grow old in a way we could have their beliefs instilled in us.

kids will like what you like.

they want to think the way you think.

they will ask you things that they see around you.

they will ask why are you doing such an action.

sometimes they just do whatever you do, even if it is drinking black coffee.

they. will. do it.

when everyone in our house is getting older, our house becomes dull and plain. no one is playing around anymore. no one is messing around with the wall paintings anymore. no one builds a house inside our house using blankets and  anything that is available inside our house.

there's no more. everyone has gotten busy.

and then mohammadnoor came.

and i came home from studying abroad. and he was there. wanted to play. ALL... THE.... TIME.

he would cry like there is no tomorrow if i ask for a time-out. and i would ask his mom(my elder sister) to help me soothe him from whining and there is no resolution for that but to continue playing with him.

i was once a kid. and i know how it is important to have a healthy and good environment. i wish i had me when i was a kid. so i can play with me as i play with mohammadnoor. which is creepy, to think about. okay this is not about me, this blog is solely dedicated for my one and only growing-up-nephew, mohammadnoor.

he just turned 6-year-old today, april 4 as i write this blog and try to compensate for not being present on his graduation party and as the first grandchild, and first nephew to our small circle of family... the moment should be epic. i want him to remember this day, that someone somewhere far, her kaka is always here. literally, writing about him and if he is going to read this one day as he grow up and as the website still runs for free, i'm writing some wisdom as i wanted to remind myself,too...

dear manor, (that's what i call him).

you are going to face failure, but you always control how you start over. the unknown is going to scare you but you need to be fearless as you deal with it. life is meant to be uncertain, just know that each day is special to have. you are very special. never doubt yourself.i always got your back. love your parents big-time and lastly, be better than me. 

kaka

the last word is going to be hard for him. but i know it's achievable. ^_^

and to end this blog, i'd like to thank bobby(you know who you are), for sending over his pictures to me, as follows, ALHAMDULILLAH!

"the always ugly smile. leaving me laughing at my own self."

Kinder II Graduation April 1, 2019

"the asian-type-pose"

MY MAN!

YOUR MOM! :D

no matter how much i wanted this kid to stay little for a while. i am not ready for him to grow up.

it's going to be tough, kid. but it's going to happen. BE GREAT, DO GREAT!

yours,

JS

coffee talk | why coffee!?

yeah. why people can't stop asking about this?

why?

i love coffee. and let's stop arguing. oh we're not arguing. i am writing about this. literally, sharing my thoughts about coffee. no objections. but you can always leave a comment. feel free.

i have this really deep love and affection toward coffee. what happened was, i was always curious about my father's drinking it back then. i always look up to my father. i'm not going to call it daddy's girl thing but let's just say, i like hanging out with my father more that my mom. he is a coffee lover and and at that time i was very young. so young that i almost believe he will never let me drink coffee.

traditionally, coffees are for old people. if we have the same traditional belief then, good. it kinda installed into me till i found out i am able to sip it and be addicted to it, 'never my entire life'.  unintentionally, i can still remember i was doing my nursing curses at that time and i always hang-out with friends the whole entire day and come home to sleep ^_^ so, that's like the life i had for 2 years long. 2007-2009.

my friends were selected. i am nerd. loner. sensitive but warm and friendly. ahay! that's why they found me. so much so that most of them were 10 years older than me. selected.

they drink coffee.

and they don't care about me.

what i mean about they don't care about me is that, they treat me as if i'm in their ages. and i like that about them. i feel matured and experienced person. though i tried really hard to understand their perceptions about life. 

they drink coffee. they eat food. they go out. they enjoy.

so i drink coffee eventually. though i know it's almost like a taboo at home. i was around 18 or 19 when i realize i'm drinking coffee with beverages, like, crazy. i didn't care about its effects on me but what i knew was i liked the taste of it. i looked for it. i wanted it.

now, people around me start asking me. why coffee?

oh, before i forgot, it's been 2 years i'm trying to maintain black coffee. it's more beneficial. it's healthier. and it is what it is. a coffee.

also, i lived with russian and madagascar people. it's now mixed with tea and talks. 

p.s. the above thoughts are written 6 years ago. i just had the chance to post it now(Feb.11,2023). if you are reading this. please please please. WRITE! 

just write. i encourage you! it's like, writing yourself to the future you. the more you write the more you get to know yourself. 

J

coffee talk | we all make mistakes

kinda admit that this blog will somehow produce some mistake ideas along the way. what? way? which way? way in your disturbed mind.

ok, so i read this book - i am not going to call on because we aren’t close friend yet. but every book i read most are conversely recommended toward friends that are dear to me. most of them have rejected my offer just because i talked about it already and the excitement i gave to them during the promotion is just draining to their hearings. oh well i’m a good story teller. so i change the way i gush about the book i read, with a serious face and a right hand gestures, enough for them to get the surface value of what i am talking about. “hey. this book. it’s good”. a thumbs up and a little wink. “read it.” followed by an executive nod as if you are showing a respect to a president’s presence, should get them hooked. expecting to see them the next day and finally talk about it. “i told you, so.” (i’m not sure if i should put a comma between the word you and so). disclaimer is as important as breakfast.

in all honesty. because of this book i am currently reading, punched me right on the brain on my self-righteous sense of believing about my myself being right at something. i was wrong. and to pass this bad feelings you are wrong, too. and them. and all of us.

here’s the thing, if i write a hundreds of blogs and nobody ever tried to read it(which is why i keep writing) and to others, this idea of writing a blog without the reader, just didn’t make sense because what for is the blog without a reader? first of all, why do they even care if i don’t have a reader. i have one reader and critic. and that is me (the supportive side of me).

so i’m gonna talk about making mistakes. 

i failed at something and it was my mistake. but what is the other option? own it. learn from it. and learning from it doesn’t necessarily make you do the right thing. it will only lead you to do less mistake. and lesser and lesser(and i haven’t done it right so, i am not going to conclude yet). 

the truth is, everybody make mistakes, everybody lies, everybody cheated on someone or some test(i did it once, when the proctor went out, and i glanced on google. it was his fault). somewhere along a friendship or a relationship or a familyship(really?) had accused someone mistakenly because they thought they’re right. no. actually they only have right to feel accusing somebody(for emotional purposes) but actually, the accusation was all wrong, they’re just being subjective(unless the proof was practically proven).

as simple as this title goes. we all make mistakes. and if you don’t make mistakes, YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. if you disagree. then there you go, you just made your first mistake.

learn!

coffee talk | when i caught myself

title is inspired by the paramore song. i assume only few had heard about it. if you’ve heard about it, you’re cool. if you haven’t, then you don’t have to. this isn’t the time for wasteful stuffs. but their very latest album is out by the way. just so you know.

i caught myself. again. having an urge to write. to say something about this. what is this? this writing. well, i caught myself on an intense pressure. very intense i can’t get my head straight. so i need to do something about it. and this is what i have to do. write.

after napping for a couple of minutes. got up and continue this.

no. stop right there. after a couple of days, literally, continuing to write this. see, this generation right now screws everything up (i have to blame the contemporary life so i can feel a little bit better). i watched youtube. there you go. confession. x games. i missed the last year’s so i am coping up. it was saturday so it wasn’t really that a threat to my guilt of - why i wasn’t working on my thesis and instead wasting my time on youtube x games. and this, blog. WASTED! and this morning i spent time hanging out cycling. learning on brakes. meeting mr. sun’s first rise. YEAH! goal!!!

going back to what is this intense pressure. (finally, i am going to talk something useful, yeay!) catching yourself doing something completely unrelated to what you suppose to do. like to me, people have been asking “what are you doing, jo? why can’t you finish your thesis?” no, they didn’t really asked that. what actually upsets me, is that, they didn’t even bother to ask that. they’re asking me like, “when are you going to graduate?” or somewhatlike, “are your parents coming over for your graduation?” oh man! i haven’t finish the book i am into right now, let me finish it and we’ll talk later. my head is screaming!

coffee.

the truth is. i can’t force it people. i am just doing what i am able to do. and when i say caught myself. it means. my anxiety of not getting THERE! that there screws my heads up until is start feeling a headache. and a gallon of water won’t help. so why am i writing this? simple. it is my catharsis. it is my only relief. i am not good at talking my emotion with someone. i can give an advice. but i prefer to bury that emotional explosive someone else doesn’t deserve to listen to. so, i needed to come up with substitute. 

writing.

not legitimate writings but at least do something. do something about it. that “intense pressure”. and you’ll find yourself coming out from it. not ignoring it, but the avoidance of emotional break down. easier said than done. but it works on me. all the time.

peace.

coffee talk | the long lost blogger

i was in whatsApp when one of my friend screenshotted my very latest blog and sent it to me.

i was struck and slapped right in the face.

and here i am. unstoppable and excited to share some thoughts of what has been going on for a very long time.

here are few highlight of what's been happening the past months(aaaakh! it's been far too long, and i don't even know where to start.)

1. two of my sister came over to visit us in indonesia. i wish i can express how much i really enjoyed their visit and our trips together. it's ecstatic! i would love to have them again and plan for trips with them. it's worth to preserve those memories. *sigh! 

2. i went home. i needed a break. from everything. my mind was so occupied i even stopped doing my thesis on process.(don't worry i'm back) things i should ponder because they were important and may find answer at distant.

3. i am gaining weight, big time! 6 pounds in 2 months. well, some will argue that i am having the ideal weight for my height, some have said "hey, you need to lose some weight" really, it's a big deal. back home is like a year of eating party. plus, my brother in law just came from saudi arabia. chocolates. yey! choco-gain. not bragging about the fact that my family, cousins and friends everywhere are monster eaters and to think they are considering me as "lost in pounds" because i don't eat the same food after years of living away from home.

4. i find it hard to count our philippine money. heeeerk! everytime i go out, buy something, eat somewhere, pay for fares. i. just. need. someone. with. me. a chaperon. it's a vacation at home. i don't want to think about this stuff while having my big stuff ahead. let the chaperon do it's job. haha!

5. lost a usb flash drive for the 6th times. i'm such a keeper. but flash drives are just exceptional. if things get seriously continue like this, i would invent a flash drive that would crawl back to me everytime i push that button. aaah, human will steel it.

6. went on to a one day adventure with my fam. zip line is the catch! the experience is just wonderful. it's extremely good.

7. spent a week in manila before leaving. my sister and i pull off some side trips and we enjoyed it a lot! i'm so thankful for her company. i'll never forget it. 

8. no rest after a fly. i arrived in indonesia and within the week i need to exhaust myself on another trips for our friend visiting the country. tasnim. it's been 4 years from the last time i saw her. i'm glad that she came. reunited but then separated again. i didn't cry though. no hugs. i'm not good at it too. 

9. stories that untold.

thank you for reading. i hope to be blogging more regularly now!

2017. YOU ARE MINE! 

peace!

Daily Blog Challenge - final thoughts

it's been 52 days i've been recording almost everything. daily activities from morning 'til evening. and i thought it is about time to put an end to it. the fact that i could keep up till this day is a big achievement to me already. i have faced the challenge. regardless of my writing skills. grammar skills and a kind of person i am. which is absolutely under the category of the ones that's not really a fan of specifying one's emotion. and i think that had made me more...  oh, i'm not good at this. so the challenge, considering its uncertain end, i supposed i have gained so much self-discipline in keeping it daily. it's hard. but with all the honesty-non-fiction stories i have made right there, it's not really that difficult to put up words and look for something that's not there. everything happen in hands. it's a no-brainer work. but discipline is what kept me writing. 

it's a challenge i, myself had to work out with. nobody is ever going to pull out such a challenge that doesn't have sure end. but i started this challenge. i didn't even put an ultimatum in it. not set. and i know why i did that. i want to see how far i can go. how many days i can get to keep up writing. even one word i thought i will write and post just to see if this crap inside me is under my control. rock on! 

"every beginning has an end"

i wish i could keep doing this. but as what my professor said in one of his lecture, you can't hold two water melon in one hand. sometimes, we do need to focus on something to attain what we should be doing. the real goal. although it seems unclear what the future holds, i still believe in the act of the process, and the reward after it. and that process would lead us to somewhere we are ordained. just do it! 

be different!

is what i have profoundly learn from this challenge. you know that moment when you really have to go to the corner and write something because you are oblige to. yes, that is the greatest challenge i had to get through every single time i needed to write. call me loner but i needed to be a hero.

"improve yourself everyday"

being better everyday in every aspect of all the activity is one hell of an obligation. a compulsory i thought every individual is committed to, willingly or unwillingly. i am getting mad! there's no way we could let a day without learning something. and i do regret days i thought i didn't do a thing. it's funny how i always thought about me being so different from the past few years ago. every time i contemplate on me trying to seek another new knowledge or skills, i felt like i know nothing. i even hate to feel the disappointment after watching somebody with my age throwing some knowledge or even worse possessed it. i'm dumb. and i guess this is what makes me a hungry person.

the more you socialize, the more you learn

back then, i was this kind of person who doesn't know how to deal with people outside the house. i am not taking any jokes, i'll even cry sometimes. secretly. fast forward a few years, i eventually started to see people around me. what they wear. what they say. and sometimes  even what they think. and i call that superpower. inside me. i became more observable at almost everything. and i'm not proud of this one. it is disturbing when all you want to do is to focus at something more relevant. however, i find it very easy for me to socialize having this unusual character. being keen and alert all the time saves me from reckless act and unnecessary activities. and the opposite is what i called having fun. 

blogging

focusing and concentrating at something separates you from everything else. one very good example is reading a book. writing blog. playing games on your phone. even the very basic one, listening to a lecture on youtube. if you want to get the best out of something, you have to focus on it. like i didn't know how i got into writing but there is this day i told myself i wanted to write. i don't know where to start or how to, but i just wanted to write. anything. something. i am not really that fan of grammar but if don't do this, i won't be able to see how far does my ability would brought me. but hey, progress is a progress. i got this far. blogging is not an easy task. somebody is going to pick on my writings. i thought of this before. i got worried. i couldn't post anything. thinking about being criticized somewhere down the road is a torture. 

to write is to read

i was frightened, nervous, and reluctant just by thinking about my writing being criticized until i've read this one blog on "how to be a writer". one word i grasped and until now it drives me on keeping the writing habit and that is what the authors said "WRITE!". that moment when my eyes hit on this word -if you want to be a writer, then "WRITE!". it's powerful and if you are reading this. i'm telling you, it worked on me.

expose yourself

i am 26 and i just started to get to know myself around 24. and i literally paused and think about the years behind me. what have i done? what was i before? how people looked at me? described me? i have no idea. i don't know what part on earth made me a person that has made me who i am right now but all i know is i just started living. and thank God for making me realize this. it's an inside urgent for me to explore who i am and do things on my own and be dedicated in anything i say or do. otherwise it wouldn't make any sense at all.

let others be inspired.

Daily Blog Challenge | Day 52 | spicy chicken soup

april 14, 2016. thursday. love this morning. i had a total different set of breakfast. this time it's a soup. a spicy chicken soup. it's being cooked by a friend who slept over most of the time. thanks to her. 

i did laundry. half of it. put it off for later and went to a friend's house. an arab friend. a bit of talk and we're back to dorm.

a friend of ours had to be sent to the hospital. not to mention about my thoughts on this particular hospital. alhamdulillah she's fine now. 

and yes. this probably the last blog i could pull out. if there's going to be for tomorrow. then that's probably going to be my last blog for this challenge.

chillin' for today for not having much activity. 

"we are partially responsible for our destiny" nobody holds what it takes for the future.

goodnight. peace out to all. xoxo

Daily Blog Challenge | Day 51 | end

april 13, 2016. wednesday. to-do list is on. i made a bread and egg for my pancake with my black coffee. clean up clutters and some stuffs during the morning. my sister and i, went to emigration that noon. 

with all the rain and flood outside the road, we still have to go and took the picture taking for a visa. done and we went to eat lunch. 

after arriving to dormitory i felt the need of playing badminton because of the food we ate during lunch time. let me laugh at myself for this. i'm such a looser.

and because i am writing 5 blogs. yes, five. and so, i need to mumble words. and also i just need to meet this challenge's fulfillment. thinking of ending this challenge very soon. but i'll be fine. 

this night i went to take the book i order to print the day before. WOW the result is what i call, love. i can't wait to hit the road. travelling and start to read it and finish it right before i get back to my base. ahh. i just love this thought.

"take challenges!" it's not really that bad. after all, it's all about learning.

peace out! xoxo