coffee talk | tomorrow is 2016

there's too many things happened at my 2015. and i want to write a summary of it at the last minute because it is 1 hour before 2016 come up. no edits, no revision, no nothing. one day, i will look back to this writing and see how it turns out. i'm rushing. so here we go.

i don't exactly remember what happened from start till now. my 2015 is quiet different from other years i had. this year was crazy eventful. well, everyear does mark memories on me. but this one is just so different and very remarkable to me. i've learned a lot, experienced a lot and by that it opens my mind into something else. something that made me into somebody. i became somebody. i turned into someone who can be able to do everything. Alhamdulillah!

so i am celebrating all the blessings that's in my life and how fortunate i am. it's human nature not to appreciate all we have until we lost it.

january, i remember we went to this place, i wish i can put one of the picture we took at that moment. it was 3 hours away from where we live. using motorcycle. it turns out really exciting trip. with the sunset scenery and the feeling of the nature attachment is just so overwhelming. we arrived there around 3 and took our way back after the sunset fades away.

february, march, april, may, june. if i'll remember an event at one of these month, i'll edit this blog. but as of now, this is likely the semesters month in where i am studying. so as far as i remember. i did classes. laboratories, regular classes, dormitory.

july, august. vacation. going out are sure thing. we went to this places we have never been. somewhere near. not that really far. we are all girls so we keep the safely before anything could happen. other than the days we aren't out. it the time where we tried to clean up and change some things that has to change.

september. hah! this one. i started a 90 day journey. and i will write this one in details later on in my blog.
october. semester classes started to get serious. this will be my last semester. so i cannot afford to lay low. i am working as hard as i can. and in addition to that, we had this competition i'll do another blog about it. it was a history.
november and december. along with my finals, the semseter ends. my brother had me visited from jakarta about 2 weeks. i didn't give him much of my time. but i'm pretty sure he had a lot of fun. i'll see you soon brother.

so as this 2015 gone by i wanted to end this writing by saying THANK YOU ALLAH FOR EVERYTHING, for making everything a blessing for this year. and i will say THANK YOU for EVERYTHING for whatever blessings you will throw at me for the next gregorian calendar year.

2015 is now a history.

yours
JS

*karangkates images to be inserted here

coffee talk | one morning

5:16 am. where most of the population of this city were asleep. i have no way of finding out of those who aren't sleeping, what are they've up to. getting ready to work or school. if it wasn't for something, they'll be part of those who are sleeping.

few years back. i struggle at getting up early. that i hated myself even. it affects me. inside me is a court battle. arguing and fighting either i should be punishing myself or i should take it easy and try again tomorrow. it goes on and on and on. day by day, i see myself doing the same thing as i did yesterday.

but not today. today, i am awake. today, is a day i say, nobody woke me up. no alarm clock. no nothing. no more struggle and regret. there's only pancake and coffee. beside me. along with me. giving me warm and activity to look up to every single morning. everybody needs a company.

the taste of every morning isn't the same for me. it is for me a blessing. and if i will have to describe it in one word. it will be "beginning".

coffee talk | talking tech and mathematics skill

we thought a lot. and one of the main content is probably our future. which is actually the result of what are we been doing at the present.

i'm studying information technology eventually. hard? yes.

weird because it wasn't really on the plan. and i thought a lot about it. me being on the tech world. tech world. sounds big.

i'm not good at math. period. and it's really hard to accept this fact. i'm crying now.

when i was in elementary through high school, i thought i was doing the right thing. studying ONLY. like no friends, no bonding time with the close-relatives. no social life. "isolation" if that's what do you want to call it. ok, so it was just on getting at the top list. which is i probably maintain at those zombie days.

i always wanted to impress my mom at all aspect of my day-to-day activities. like everything. good thing i was doing it well. obedient child. ha-ha! kids! and part of me being obedient is a math wiz. nahh, it's just math. 1+1. getting familiar with 10s 100s 1000s and so on. YES! i'm good at it. very very good. but not now. i'll tell you later in this blog.

...or now. i'm not gonna lie about what happen back then. "honesty is the best policy" i did my high school at only 3 years long. which is normally in a standard government educational law, it is actually 4 years duration. oh my... accelerated? nope! it wasn't really clear to me back then, but it was all my mom's plan. i skipped my junior high school. four years in count. 1st year, freshmen. 2nd year, sophomore. 3rd year, junior. and 4th year, senior. i didn't do my junior high school. applause. not a good idea when i realize i have missed everything. that everything is a sum up of all mathematics particularly final year in high school.

i struggle. mom doesn't know.

moving on... i went to college. COMPUTER SCIENCE. wow! in a not-so-prestigious-college-incorporate. so there's like, 10 - 20 students taking the same courses with me. there's not that much student at the whole department that i can still remember all their faces and probably names till now. it was 2007 when i finish my first half on my degree and now it's 2015. ok, so now i'm genius ^_^

i graduated my 3 years of highschool at 2004. associate degree at 2007. associate in health science education (yes i went to med school) at 2009. worked at telecommunication office a year long.

there's so many things happened that math had gotten mad at me and eventually went away, i guess. i'm sorry math. i really didn't mean it.

now that i'm back at field. COMPUTERS. i need math to go back at my side. like real bad. i was thinking that if i get back my math skills, i wouldn't worry about my statistics subjects.

i mean programming. codes. codes. codes. i think i'll die with it.

so i murmur a lot already. it's time for me to review. my math. or not. because their advice is "you don't need math to be a programmer". oooh yes, like you are, professor X, Math PhD holder.

programming is engaging with technology. and it is as if technology gives life to what we call generation now. there's no turning back.

i've got to do my tutorial. and i will one day. post an application by my own creation.

comin' up!

coffee talk | Changes.

i don’t like writing anymore. i want to record a video and post it. post it. post it. nah! that can’t be.

for some very reasonable reason. It can’t be.

first of all, my purpose in starting this blog is nothing but to share what are my thoughts about. sometimes. because blogging isn’t something easy. because, not everyone is doing it. YES! not everyone is able to do it. well, in my own very humble opinion, maybe i just had this gut. to write. whatever the outcome is. i’m not someone who is grammatically skillful. i even sometimes look up for the right spelling and the right word. yeah. i wanna express it. and it feels good. i feel good. ^_^

talking about my recent activity why i wasn’t that updating my blog. in short. where have i been?!

yeeeey!! the yeey-thing, i call it a “break”. break-freeeee. no, that’s not what i meant. i mean, break. from my busy-ness. and this whole thing inspires me to write this whole blog thing for this topic. i know this sounds so informal, like i’m literary speaking loudly as i type these words. ha!ha!. <-not this one.

i don’t know in some sort of any way, things just change, and because it is something inevitable, and so we sometimes adjust and be ok with it. go with the flow. and rock’n roll. word. Alhamdulillah.

here are some of the list things that I have realize there’s been a changes peps:

• being a freshmen. now a senior. o snap! time passes by, about to graduate from being an i.t. student. about to survive!
• being out-of-place-feeling. now a self-determined. i was always regarded and sometimes called by my country. "hey filipina!”. but behind that is the fact that some of them doesn't really know how to pronounce my name correctly. some of them even says, “hey, how do u compare singapore from this country?”. It always happens. The??! Singapore? Hmm, might want to think about it.
• a novel book fanatic reader(I’ve read few). now i don’t believe in fiction book anymore. period. it started when I found 50-shades-of-grey a violent one. i didn’t even finish it. it disturbed me, i deleted it. it was pdf. one right-click and be gone. just like that.
• i’m a loner. now a brainer. - naw kidding! – now a force to socialize. ha.ha. I don’t like it sometimes. but, in my situation, you just don’t be quiet and let other people decide for you. i’m an-independent-standalone-living-a-life-of-a- human being, so to speak. and by that i missed my parents, whom i used to depend everything on.
• old perceptions into new perceptions. deep. HAHA! but this? Really had changed. hard.
• islamic views. regardless, this is one of the very profound one. and i am so thankful that i started to connect the dots of the things that bothers me before. the light is opening. and inshAllah, it will continue opening. the door might be closed sometimes, but it is with purpose. and it is to understand why is that door closed? the purpose.
• additional lists down here will be continuously updating. changes. :))

if your environment changes you for whatever it may be. good or bad. It has a purpose. you might sometimes realize it. or not at all. 

I’m writing this blog in the name of realization. things will keep changing. and we should have the ability to be patient in order to adjust to the new situation. it’s that word patient that will bring us THERE,

that's it folks. be patient. at all time. atleast, try to.

coffee talk | Do things that matter

how can we make sure that things that we do or want to do really matter?

i am not sure if this is a question or a reminder to me. but all i know is i've got to the point where i am asking myself - is this really matter? am i happy doing it. but does it really counts? is this really going to make me what i want in life? a good hobby doesn't destroy you. but it takes my time passes by. should i stop entertaining sometimes myself and only focus on doing what i should do? or should i do both if i'm able to?

i had thought of this things over and over again. which i have actually wrote a short thoughts about it before in this blog - entitle "thinking is harmful" - you can check it out. it's really really short and thought it could help. or not. no violence.

blogging is the only way i can soothe myself from stressing on what to do during free time. maybe you too. why would i know. ^_^ but if you are reading this blog then probably you have wasted some of your time and energy at things that doesn't matter and you try to redeem it. no we can't. though we can change our future habit by changing our behavior and disciple ourselves if we want to. "WILL IS ALL IT TAKES".

yours,
JS

coffee talk | am i afraid to have a relationship?

this is a question most of them asked(me). because in this generation, having a relationship is what makes you an experienced personality? might be true. but what is not so good at it is the lack of protocol and losing one's self. for most of what i had observed.

i guess i'm just not a typical youth, and so my friends are. from previous to presents. for where i am right now makes me realize that i lived at two different worlds.

it was so different that i thought having a boyfriend/girlfriend is just a matter of looking for a spouse afterwards along the relationship. wrong! as you age, you learn. it's apparently not really what i believed in. the idea of being valued by someone, having being cared tenderly by someone and do the whole thing of you-and-me-together is what every curious boy/girl wanting to have. or experience at least. it's fun though accordingly, kills some boredom. and don't be too serious at a relationship. if you don't want to end it too soon.

happenings are so unpredictable. but "end" is a sure thing. i believe in consequence in whatever we do. as much i had observe people around me getting happy(for some short time), getting hurt, getting lost. this may not applied to everyone but yes, i'm afraid it could happen to me, too.

they said "don't believe in what men says, believe in what they do". on some level, we tend to adore a person, some we develop feelings. but we certainly don't want to hookup such as hangout, dating and whatnot. liking a person is normal for a normal human being. but acting upon it. DON'T. CASUAL is sexy, CARING is creepy(read it somewhere). but it sank-in because it resonates what's actually happening around us.

i do respect people who give it a try and went on a relationship. it's bravery. knowing that love out of uncertainty will only lead to nothing but breakage and waste of time.

but again, as a normal human being, there's nothing wrong in being afraid. we're all human. most of us want to have that perfect moment at a perfect time. it's always about choice. and i choose not to abuse my heart. because at the end, this heart doesn't really belong to us.

we appreciate love and affection in so many ways, but most of it is worldly. my Father once told me, don't waste time loving at things that doesn't really matter. because once your heart stops beating, it stops beating. that's it. and there's nothing you can do about it.

and as i write this blog. the fear was totally my definition on having a relationship before marriage.
fear in so many aspects. to parents, to Allah, to losing self, to breaking something that doesn't really belong to us. and that is the heart.

and all this thoughts, equals my brain-working, equals my tummy starving. i enjoy sharing this thoughts anyway. wish i could have this more often. it unleashes thoughts out of pressure. it releases tension of what you fight for. let's spread love in a halal way. to parents. to family. to friends. religion.

yours,
JS

p.s.  (disclaimer)all images above are property of its respective owners.

coffee talk | short and simple

0055. almost dawn. here i am. writing a blog. reading at the same time. and the moment a blog gets you because it's just too powerful. i got to say i need to write one. whatever it is. i just have to.

well, yesterday is one of the most valuable and most important day for (us) muslims to celebrate to. it's eeeeeid. particularly eid ul fitr. yaay! got a new items to offer for this day. like, new dress aha, aha, i don't have to mention it because i know for sure you won't be interested in it. it's boring to list it out here.

one of the things that keeps a moment to last forever and never be forgotten is to take pictures or write about it. 

this year, my eid still dull. the only reason is... i'm not with my family to celebrate it with. but i will make sure that i will cheer up next time because i will spend it with them for next year, inshaAllah. 

short and simple.

yours

JS

coffee talk | be inspired. the first step

i am living alone. without family. close relatives and whatnot. so i tend to lose motivation most of the days. i'm up and down. and let's stop this because just by writing the first line made me felt sad :(

but that's not what i want to share with you all. nobody wants to be sad. unless you are a psycho-mental-bla-bla.

moving on...

so you are here because we are thinking the same thoughts. we all want to be inspired. right? right. i got your back. if we are literally talking face-to-face, and you are a girl(muslim's limit), i'll tap you'll shoulder.

Be inspired. i hope i can get my point in a very short writing. blogs, vlogs, help-self books, asking advice, what else, talking to parents, is where you can get an inspiration. and hopefully stay motivated.

what is a very good thing about being inspired is, you see things very profound. you will contemplate most on the future you. it boosts you to do something. something that might help you pick yourself up that leads to helping others. you know people who doesn't have inspiration doesn't really care of what might be the outcome of what they do. inspirations gets us up. gives us hope. make us work our butt off. yeah! (you should be yelling).

last words if you are still reading. REMEMBER. inspiration motivates us to be better ourselves. don't you wanna be a better one? (blasting end)

i hope you have an "of course" answer to that question ^_^

peace out.


yours,
JS

coffee talk | new day is a good day

everyday is a new day. and i define it a good day because i want it that way. it is not a bad day if bad thing happens. well, i call it "experience". experience to change, the next time i'll have my good day. the good news is it won't last till 24 hours. wanna bet?!

it's been a long time since i had my last blog. i've been thinking so deep on how can i make my blog more desirable to the readers. and there's a bad effect of it. thinking to write only for the sake of the other side of the screen. hoping to satisfy the readers. meet their needs. and make them happy atleast. well, that set of mind ends right now.

i've been watching vlogs these days and i found it interesting. but there are obstacles for me to start my own(screaming). and i'll probably elaborate that later on on my next coming blogs. inshaAllah.

so, i can't make vlogs(aka video logs) yey! i'm not too happy for that. and believe me if i say, i had the most gratifying not-more-than-an-hour conversation with my professor today. and this is something not everyone could get. I thank God for giving me that moment. and probably the best moment of this day.

and because of that conversation. here i am writing a blog. which i am thinking i would regularly do for my everyday basis. or at a very least 3x a week. or once. i just have to write, pal!

if you are an i.t student. you will understand that in our case, it's pretty hard to maintain a blog. specially when you want it to be more interesting... like making a tips, thoughts about something, writing an article about a subject. anything, anything that you may thought an educational to the readers. it's just too hard to make it as a priority.

well, it's a new day. and it is part of any wise man's knowledge that everything happens by the will of God. Alhamdulillah an inspiration came without, me asking it.

pretty plain blog. but anyway, i'll try to make it more creative for the next time.
i just have to make one right now. because if i don't. if i don't... i'll be drinking coffee ^_^

peace out.

coffee talk | giving back...

so, i had this really terrible experience that i wanted to share to anyone who had(or having) the same struggle. it’s the hardest part of my i.t. student life, so far. it is when i worked 4 days(4 daaays!!) straight to retrieve my lost data from my corrupted external hard disk due to sudden unplug without safety removal. a lesson.

the scariest dialog message EVER!!!

images, videos, document files, and program applications that are so significant (soo important) to me are what occupies my external hard disk. it actually took me a minute to grasp the fact that i’ve really lost my data that i can’t change what i’m seeing from my screen every time i tried to plug it (hoping it’s just a problem with the usb port) and says i have to format the disk before i can open it. O.M.G.!!! i’m blanked! no words! you know that shock reaction when you just can’t hardly move, only your chest that pumps in and out dramatically? well, i guess i just have to tell you, it’s dreadful fellas!!

i’m sharing this blog because of success (alhamdulillah). i remember a clip i’ve watched that talks about success and it says about “giving back!”. i had a huge huge relief after i found out that i can actually GET BACK my data by simply downloading an application program from a reliable link sources. tell you more about it onwards.

ridiculously, i had it from youtube. i typed words like, how to retrieve my lost/corrupted data from a hard disk bla...bla..., ENTER! i can’t find a word to describe how i am really emotionally down at that moment, clicking here and there. open up tabs. anxiously, thinking of failing to find the answer just like that. impossibly NO! hopeless!

luckily, i am here to share with you a piece of help. yeey! you can get back all the files you’ve lost and even the accidentally deleted ones. bonus!

if you are a techy person, fist bump. i gave you 2 possible software apps that could help you, just click here and here and we’re done. if you’re not(a techy person), then i guess it is my responsibility to share with you a little of my knowledge, ahem! drop me your questions at jhw2801@gmail.com and i’ll send you some instructions that worked on me. it’ll be my pleasure to help.

PEACE!

#itellyouhowto 

yours,
js