coffee talk | am i afraid to have a relationship?

this is a question most of them asked(me). because in this generation, having a relationship is what makes you an experienced personality? might be true. but what is not so good at it is the lack of protocol and losing one's self. for most of what i had observed.

i guess i'm just not a typical youth, and so my friends are. from previous to presents. for where i am right now makes me realize that i lived at two different worlds.

it was so different that i thought having a boyfriend/girlfriend is just a matter of looking for a spouse afterwards along the relationship. wrong! as you age, you learn. it's apparently not really what i believed in. the idea of being valued by someone, having being cared tenderly by someone and do the whole thing of you-and-me-together is what every curious boy/girl wanting to have. or experience at least. it's fun though accordingly, kills some boredom. and don't be too serious at a relationship. if you don't want to end it too soon.

happenings are so unpredictable. but "end" is a sure thing. i believe in consequence in whatever we do. as much i had observe people around me getting happy(for some short time), getting hurt, getting lost. this may not applied to everyone but yes, i'm afraid it could happen to me, too.

they said "don't believe in what men says, believe in what they do". on some level, we tend to adore a person, some we develop feelings. but we certainly don't want to hookup such as hangout, dating and whatnot. liking a person is normal for a normal human being. but acting upon it. DON'T. CASUAL is sexy, CARING is creepy(read it somewhere). but it sank-in because it resonates what's actually happening around us.

i do respect people who give it a try and went on a relationship. it's bravery. knowing that love out of uncertainty will only lead to nothing but breakage and waste of time.

but again, as a normal human being, there's nothing wrong in being afraid. we're all human. most of us want to have that perfect moment at a perfect time. it's always about choice. and i choose not to abuse my heart. because at the end, this heart doesn't really belong to us.

we appreciate love and affection in so many ways, but most of it is worldly. my Father once told me, don't waste time loving at things that doesn't really matter. because once your heart stops beating, it stops beating. that's it. and there's nothing you can do about it.

and as i write this blog. the fear was totally my definition on having a relationship before marriage.
fear in so many aspects. to parents, to Allah, to losing self, to breaking something that doesn't really belong to us. and that is the heart.

and all this thoughts, equals my brain-working, equals my tummy starving. i enjoy sharing this thoughts anyway. wish i could have this more often. it unleashes thoughts out of pressure. it releases tension of what you fight for. let's spread love in a halal way. to parents. to family. to friends. religion.

yours,
JS

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