AUGUST 2020 | MUHARRAM

tomorrow is muharram, the start of the islamic calendar. taking this opportunity to write for a new beginning.

a start. a change. an another alhamdulillah.

if i wanna describe this year in one word, it should be “miracle”.

and so, going along with the meaning of how i describe this year for me, words are running in my mind like they can’t wait to be expressed. events in details are overwhelming they might escape. XD 

i would like to start with gratitude, a “THANK YOU” 😊with a smile on my face remembering this adorable kid yesterday in that small restaurant. i am inspired. not because i was just discovering the power of gratitude but to receive it from a very innocent beautiful being is just pleasing.

to start with this blog, i had tons and tons of drafts starting last year 2019, to write a post and keep up to date with my technotes. haha, i guess i am just a failure. the cycle i went through, i started writing and then put it off, then started another paragraph with the new title and then delete them, then goes back to the previous topic and thought i shouldn’t have deleted the previous one until big events happened. 2019 i started my job as technical representative in a global service desk company in this country. meaning, i am far from my family and i don’t have much family responsibility and so i can keep up with my hobbies, for example sketching, writing and traveling & spots. none of it happened instead i have discovered so many things about me about people about life and of course about how Allah’s plan is always the perfect plan. 

the aftermath of the eventful and intense 2019 to 2020 for me is that (a) no matter how much i wanted to tell mom and dad that i can take care of myself, they will still doubt it and (b) coronavirus has changed my life’s perspective. life is short. family is gold. jobs are temporary. health is wealth. save for yourself. give and give, money, care, kindness, prayer.

as a decision maker for my own life, i have decided to go home and leave this job for good and hopefully i can serve my parents as i have served myself for almost 10 years and counting. a blessing that not everyone could get and i am ready to give something back for them. my time and service. i hope i won’t mess up this time around. making me miss home wasn’t easy. i never missed home i never wanted to go home. i love living outside. hanging out with my friends, knowing people, inspiring people, be inspired, learning stuffs, getting a new language, having a new sports, improving social communication skills until The One who has made everything possible has put it to an end. THANK YOU for the experience. keeping all the good and remember the lessons from the bad.

i am excited to continue this life that has been given to me, keeping in touch with the people i have met outside. i am just blessed, thinking all this was just once was a wish when i was just a poor kid and now it was all getting manifested eventually. can i say subhanallah big time for that! YES! because every time i look back, none of these people, things, experience, skills i have had right now occupied my wish lists back then, except having a laptop. i was a kid i didn’t even know i’ll have it because our parents never inspired us to buy stuffs only because they focus on paying our school tuition fees. but one thing i am sure why this has been a blessing, it is because i was praying a lot, doing my homework as a student. no gadgets available. joined all by my siblings because we are not allowed to play around most of the time. tv watching is limited. playing nintendo is limited. seeing our cousins or hanging out with them is limited. sleeping is limited. We are in an army households and didn’t know our parents are just preparing us towards the crucial world. 

and so, at this very moment, i am glorifying every little things that had happened here and there(previously and present) and all the people i have meet. this is because i am thankful that i still got a chance to be with my family and give service to people with the remaining life i have. 

i am still breathing…

this my friend, if you are reading… i really meant to say that if your plan is accordance with Allah’s plan for you, then you will accomplish it but when it’s not, know that His plan is much much better than yours and in what’s happening in the world right now? nothing is certain except changes and death. my long term plan has always been changing and so does my short term depending on the situation.

i’ll be back and read this in case i will need those words in the future.

writing this blog for August. :) if ever i haven’t mentioned before that every things i have or own i.e. phone, tablet etc, i call them names. 

2020 is a year of appreciating everything we have. and that includes you, being able to read thi again. 

much <3,

js

coffee talk | Decision Making

i think every person you meet previously and presently affects you somehow. some people you end up loving and others, well they're just passing through. and a piece of them always stays with you, good or bad. so over time, you collect people and maybe you don't remember every single one of them but that doesn't mean they haven't affected you. for better or worse, they've change you.

“you are everyone you meet in your life”. i just love reading. random stuffs on google, book titles, and sometimes i stuck in its descriptions. then if it's interesting to me, then i guess i found a new buddy for a few days. so with this quote i've mention above, i so believe in that. every single person we meet in our life is a part of us. whether they were someone we shared our life with, they influenced us in a good way, they hurt us and made us learn a valuable lesson, they were mean and so we vowed not to be mean like them, whether the person wore something we liked, smiled and warmed our heart, made us laugh, or cry, all that, is part of us. and so how can any two people possibly be identical? never.

i'm happy, contented and committed to improving myself. i was taking my life seriously back then. terrified of what am i going to turn out doing the next phase. but then, life has been so great. it taught me how not to take things seriously. i mean, just be it. walk through it. if you have to run, then run. and then, there comes the tests, but don't stop. life will goes on and on. i've heard people trying to fix their problem in attempting to end their lives. well, that's never the solution. shame on them, they lack understanding of what life could be if only they face it. and i'm not here to preach. and it's hard to write.

"i will make the rest of my life the best of my life" this isn't just a thought for me. it is actually one of the reason i am writing this piece of blog. i want to express and share and treasure this concept of doing the best of anyone else's life. it is sort of an affirmation that life ahead is expected to be the best. i am. i do. God will always be there. the Great and He promises to provide us. Faith make all things possible. i repeat, i'm not preaching i insist even though i sound like one.

moving on. since this is a personal blog, i decide what i write.

and so, i'm still talking about decision making and i think this is the very most tough part of our lives. from small things to big. it always comes with a choice, this or that, now or later, stop or continue. so many things you have to come up with and unconsciously deciding in every small things we are encountering at least for a day to day basis. and i was actually battling this few months from a decision i had to take. and finally i have come up with the best one. see, i need to say it's the best, if not, then what is the purpose of believing in yourself? it has been rough for me, people around me would ask WHY but then they have their own life to live up with. not mine. if i let them decide for me, for what i have to do and what i have to take, then where am i standing? for whose life? i shouldn't be sane then.

letting anyone decide for you is the worst thing. we take advises, thoughts, but it should end up depending on us. i am so grateful for every little things in this life that has taught me. and for whatever reason, there's no way i could say life is unfair. NO. it is absolutely amazing. and we make it the best. and we keep improving. it's an endless experience we should penetrate. because we are who we are based on our experiences in life. nobody has ever walked on my shoes, nobody have had overcome my obstacles. i take advises, but of course, i decide for myself. it's on me. and it should be everyone else has to do too for themselves.

*wink!