coffee talk | we all make mistakes

kinda admit that this blog will somehow produce some mistake ideas along the way. what? way? which way? way in your disturbed mind.

ok, so i read this book - i am not going to call on because we aren’t close friend yet. but every book i read most are conversely recommended toward friends that are dear to me. most of them have rejected my offer just because i talked about it already and the excitement i gave to them during the promotion is just draining to their hearings. oh well i’m a good story teller. so i change the way i gush about the book i read, with a serious face and a right hand gestures, enough for them to get the surface value of what i am talking about. “hey. this book. it’s good”. a thumbs up and a little wink. “read it.” followed by an executive nod as if you are showing a respect to a president’s presence, should get them hooked. expecting to see them the next day and finally talk about it. “i told you, so.” (i’m not sure if i should put a comma between the word you and so). disclaimer is as important as breakfast.

in all honesty. because of this book i am currently reading, punched me right on the brain on my self-righteous sense of believing about my myself being right at something. i was wrong. and to pass this bad feelings you are wrong, too. and them. and all of us.

here’s the thing, if i write a hundreds of blogs and nobody ever tried to read it(which is why i keep writing) and to others, this idea of writing a blog without the reader, just didn’t make sense because what for is the blog without a reader? first of all, why do they even care if i don’t have a reader. i have one reader and critic. and that is me (the supportive side of me).

so i’m gonna talk about making mistakes. 

i failed at something and it was my mistake. but what is the other option? own it. learn from it. and learning from it doesn’t necessarily make you do the right thing. it will only lead you to do less mistake. and lesser and lesser(and i haven’t done it right so, i am not going to conclude yet). 

the truth is, everybody make mistakes, everybody lies, everybody cheated on someone or some test(i did it once, when the proctor went out, and i glanced on google. it was his fault). somewhere along a friendship or a relationship or a familyship(really?) had accused someone mistakenly because they thought they’re right. no. actually they only have right to feel accusing somebody(for emotional purposes) but actually, the accusation was all wrong, they’re just being subjective(unless the proof was practically proven).

as simple as this title goes. we all make mistakes. and if you don’t make mistakes, YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. if you disagree. then there you go, you just made your first mistake.

learn!

coffee talk | when i caught myself

title is inspired by the paramore song. i assume only few had heard about it. if you’ve heard about it, you’re cool. if you haven’t, then you don’t have to. this isn’t the time for wasteful stuffs. but their very latest album is out by the way. just so you know.

i caught myself. again. having an urge to write. to say something about this. what is this? this writing. well, i caught myself on an intense pressure. very intense i can’t get my head straight. so i need to do something about it. and this is what i have to do. write.

after napping for a couple of minutes. got up and continue this.

no. stop right there. after a couple of days, literally, continuing to write this. see, this generation right now screws everything up (i have to blame the contemporary life so i can feel a little bit better). i watched youtube. there you go. confession. x games. i missed the last year’s so i am coping up. it was saturday so it wasn’t really that a threat to my guilt of - why i wasn’t working on my thesis and instead wasting my time on youtube x games. and this, blog. WASTED! and this morning i spent time hanging out cycling. learning on brakes. meeting mr. sun’s first rise. YEAH! goal!!!

going back to what is this intense pressure. (finally, i am going to talk something useful, yeay!) catching yourself doing something completely unrelated to what you suppose to do. like to me, people have been asking “what are you doing, jo? why can’t you finish your thesis?” no, they didn’t really asked that. what actually upsets me, is that, they didn’t even bother to ask that. they’re asking me like, “when are you going to graduate?” or somewhatlike, “are your parents coming over for your graduation?” oh man! i haven’t finish the book i am into right now, let me finish it and we’ll talk later. my head is screaming!

coffee.

the truth is. i can’t force it people. i am just doing what i am able to do. and when i say caught myself. it means. my anxiety of not getting THERE! that there screws my heads up until is start feeling a headache. and a gallon of water won’t help. so why am i writing this? simple. it is my catharsis. it is my only relief. i am not good at talking my emotion with someone. i can give an advice. but i prefer to bury that emotional explosive someone else doesn’t deserve to listen to. so, i needed to come up with substitute. 

writing.

not legitimate writings but at least do something. do something about it. that “intense pressure”. and you’ll find yourself coming out from it. not ignoring it, but the avoidance of emotional break down. easier said than done. but it works on me. all the time.

peace.

coffee talk | it is friday

it's friday and it's 11 am.

ramadhan is coming and there are only days to count. i'm not sure if i'm ready or not. but i'm pretty sure i was waiting for this long before this year has started.

it's friday and i am here. alone. sitting. writing. thinking. and planning.

i need coffee.

friday is always been a special day for me. a day to restart. to rethink. reevaluate. remember. revenge. (kidding!). it's a day for me where i get myself back together if i have missed or lost it.

i am writing this one for gratitude.

i am writing this with the realization of being fortunate.

i am writing this with the fact that i am having less problem than others.

i am writing this to tell myself that whatever that is probably going to happen, good or bad. i can always get through it. and handle it, actually. wink*

i am writing this. because it makes me feel good.

i am writing this. because i feel my life is special.

i am sharing this thoughts on you. because i think, your life is special too.

and if you get this short tech-notes of mine because you love fridays too. high five! and i wish you all happiness and may Allah showers you all much blessings.

have a great day!