bliss

the way you make your mind work is everything.

you ever had an argument with people and disagreed so much you troubled yourself to the point you promised not to deal with them again?

well, i had those. then i realized, it’s occasional and it might be very arrogant of me if i kept the emotional feelings i had during those times. i am very straight forward. i don’t get pulled in dramas. it’s where people thought they’re holding up on their pride where in fact it is the darkness profess as one’s credibility. 

NO.

it is one’s ego. ego loves conflict. but no, maybe their doing the right thing. ok, but wouldn’t it be better if you’re practicing kindness rather than being right?

this is why i write. i am 100% sure i get so much in writing than telling people my problem :)

because the world feels right again when you keep your heart clean and pure.

your soul deserve peace.

J

10:00PM

hey soulmate, 

you are not here, but you are.

i connect with you, even from a far.

our talks were out of these world,

you reflect on every bet of my word.

can’t cut lose, i’m trying to focus.

the comfort in every conversation

is now a lifetime discomfort

how heavy it is to carry on

pressured to live as time goes on

a roommate, a close friend, a mentor,

those who i’ve seen with a sense of humor

that someone with all the sarcastic comments

is now part of my intellectual habits

i’m not a poet

but that is not the point

just taking a moment

in being in the present

because i know

that in my silent moment

i am grateful for the past

i hold it like a glass

…unbroken

and hey, i love who i am.

i share it with whom i love.

the past may be a distraction

accepting the present's imperfection

an only way i can guarantee

bringing it to today is my cup of tea.

-

again, i am not a poet. i have written many of these. but never published, nor re-read. one thing i know for sure, a soulmate is a connection, a mutual understanding, a trust, a comfort, and a compatibility.

it's 10:00pm. goodnight soulmate. <3 

it all depends on you

nothing stays the same, your body can heal. your life can change. you may not see it or feel it but changes happens when you change perspective. you can be sick and people will tell you are sick. you change that when you let your body heal itself. if nature cannot make it, nothing will . your house will always full of clutter if you think it should always be like that. 

…then you clean up😊 

what happens to the clutter? organized. 

what happens to the sick body? healed.

people(plural) tell me how am i doing it?(hiking up a mountain) you are ill, you are weak, you could get cold, your sickness could get worse. that’s their minds telling them that if they climb up the mountain, they will get sick. i tell my mind that if i move and keep going i’ll see how far i can go(God speed). 

yes there is limit but there is no limit when you put God first. 

Love, J

rollin’ in a deep

feb 25, 2025

bismillah. 

we’re rolling again.

things had happened. i wish i could write this on a paper, but things had changed. after so many years, i get to write again. i know i will somehow put off writing because life is happening and i havent sat around and think to myself ‘aah, another topic to write’.

it’s indescribable. 

writing this on a plane because it’s an 8 hour flight and what better way to use your time while everyone has dozed off. plus, i am very excited to remind you and myself that whatever happens, it’s for the best. also, it comes with how you deal with what is happening. no matter what is going on, please always be considerate of others specially to yourself. if it hurts you, forgive them but forgive yourself first. and as i am writing this, i could think of a person that would’ve handle situation and made it to chaos. 

one advice i could give to others - because this has worked for me already - is that, if you are in a complicated situation, LEAVE IT. 

dont try to fix it. understand it. let it be and let it wait. otherwise you’re just trying to show off. you can’t fix a situation. you can only spectate and understand. if you are involve, try to avoid participating that much. it will only add complications to it.

let it be, just let it be and let yourself out of it COMPLETELY.

you are much more than proving that you are right.

you are better than how they do you wrong.

you are not ignoring them, you are watering down the situation.

it’s okay if you made a wrong decision. you can forget about it and move on. life will fix it for you, in time. 

because life will always want you to win.

please remember that.

love you all. J

SLOW AND SIMPLE

…living

it’s 1:18 pm today. i have my coffee beside me. and a water. mobile phones everywhere in the table because my relatives thought i can fix them. thu? 

yes sometimes, i can. but most of the time i get sick of it and get rid of it by telling them to bring it to the cellphone repair shop because i could’t do anything about it. but the reality is… why do they have to forget their passwords anyway. 

accountability.

slow and simple because these days i’ve been watching rural daily lives documentaries on youtube. everything is green and backward. for example, cooking on a fire pit. getting all the ingredients at their backyards. water from a well. just wow. i don’t know if this is me looking for a peace of mind or piece of inspiration and be grateful for everything i have now. 

an old saying… “be careful of what you wish for” literally, most of the my childhood wish are now with/in me. i can’t illustrate them all but i can say, i have been where should be. and i am where i am right now because this was once considered in my brain. 

i have plenty of things in my brain. and if it cultivates. then it’s a story to tell.

let’s see what’s gonna happen. 

J

KINDNESS OR PEOPLE PLEASING

i’ve known so many people and i’ve never clicked with anyone that breaks the standard of what i think is real kindness.

i’m not nice. people who i lived with, knew i’m not. but if i have to help, i will. I’m not sure either if i am kind but i never act kind. specially, if people are looking or around. i would want them to think i am not nice, then surprise them with a sincere help… and i will, not just an offer. i will. if they refused to, they must be taking life seriously. Hey! we’re all human, loosen up! 

…and that’s a self-reminder first. 

you will find what you seek, so a post by haileypaigemagee on instagram explained really well what’s the difference between kindness and people pleasing.

she elaborated the following...

PEOPLE PLEASING is rooted from,

1. transactionality - i’ll give you this so that you give me something back.
2. obligation - i’m giving you this so that i can’t feel guilty.
3. compulsion - i’m giving you this because i have no idea how not to give you this.
4. loss aversion - i’m giving you this so i don’t lose you.

KINDNESS is rooted from,

1. desire - i really want to give this to you.
2. goodwill - i’m eager to increase that quality of your life because i care about you.
3. choice - i don’t have to do this. i want to do this.

if you are my reader and you are benefited from this post. keep it to yourself and choose kindness. don’t be a people pleasing.

you can help other understand by sharing this post. 

well, you don’t have to. one person to read this post is all that matter.

J

apple and coffee

have you tried eating this combo? 

ok, so let me make this post a WISHful thoughts for everyone. 

I WISH EVERYONE WILL HAVE UNDERSTANDING ON THE THINGS THEY CAN’T.

past is past. i may wrong people and definitely wronged me, huge. i make mistakes but that doesn’t mean i will stay in that mess. so as them. it’s all about understanding. see, if i hear people telling me i am this and that because i did this and that… well, smart people know that this is only based on their own perspective in life and their own experience. 

let’s look at it this way, why do you think a guy went inside a book store? to buy a book, look for a book but may not buy it. just walking around feeling the books around. you didn’t think of that guy stealing a book, right? impossible. BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE IT! also, you think of the good.

see, you are a positive thinker! GOOD FOR YOU! just like i never believe in same gender relationship because it never occur to me or to my mind.

try apple and coffee together. i insist. 😂

sometimes, my brain works like this. assorted! and it’s okay. we are all human. and i always need my laptop to take all that’s overflowing.

want another mix to this? our road is on construction. bad for the business. very noisy, muddy, few customers because of the road blocks. but think about the outcome after the road is fixed? i am thinking of it. same goes when a woman is pregnant and has to carry a baby inside her body for 9 months long. but the outcome is super rewarding. sure it will take longer than expected. but these are the things that are out of our control. you can’t disagree. 

also, this is a 3-day writing in count. 

thank you for the patience.

the sunlight on my face while writing this this morning is good, too. 

J