coffee talk | why coffee!?

yeah. why people can't stop asking about this?

why?

i love coffee. and let's stop arguing. oh we're not arguing. i am writing about this. literally, sharing my thoughts about coffee. no objections. but you can always leave a comment. feel free.

i have this really deep love and affection toward coffee. what happened was, i was always curious about my father's drinking it back then. i always look up to my father. i'm not going to call it daddy's girl thing but let's just say, i like hanging out with my father more that my mom. he is a coffee lover and and at that time i was very young. so young that i almost believe he will never let me drink coffee.

traditionally, coffees are for old people. if we have the same traditional belief then, good. it kinda installed into me till i found out i am able to sip it and be addicted to it, 'never my entire life'.  unintentionally, i can still remember i was doing my nursing curses at that time and i always hang-out with friends the whole entire day and come home to sleep ^_^ so, that's like the life i had for 2 years long. 2007-2009.

my friends were selected. i am nerd. loner. sensitive but warm and friendly. ahay! that's why they found me. so much so that most of them were 10 years older than me. selected.

they drink coffee.

and they don't care about me.

what i mean about they don't care about me is that, they treat me as if i'm in their ages. and i like that about them. i feel matured and experienced person. though i tried really hard to understand their perceptions about life. 

they drink coffee. they eat food. they go out. they enjoy.

so i drink coffee eventually. though i know it's almost like a taboo at home. i was around 18 or 19 when i realize i'm drinking coffee with beverages, like, crazy. i didn't care about its effects on me but what i knew was i liked the taste of it. i looked for it. i wanted it.

now, people around me start asking me. why coffee?

oh, before i forgot, it's been 2 years i'm trying to maintain black coffee. it's more beneficial. it's healthier. and it is what it is. a coffee.

also, i lived with russian and madagascar people. it's now mixed with tea and talks. 

p.s. the above thoughts are written 6 years ago. i just had the chance to post it now(Feb.11,2023). if you are reading this. please please please. WRITE! 

just write. i encourage you! it's like, writing yourself to the future you. the more you write the more you get to know yourself. 

J

coffee talk | we all make mistakes

kinda admit that this blog will somehow produce some mistake ideas along the way. what? way? which way? way in your disturbed mind.

ok, so i read this book - i am not going to call on because we aren’t close friend yet. but every book i read most are conversely recommended toward friends that are dear to me. most of them have rejected my offer just because i talked about it already and the excitement i gave to them during the promotion is just draining to their hearings. oh well i’m a good story teller. so i change the way i gush about the book i read, with a serious face and a right hand gestures, enough for them to get the surface value of what i am talking about. “hey. this book. it’s good”. a thumbs up and a little wink. “read it.” followed by an executive nod as if you are showing a respect to a president’s presence, should get them hooked. expecting to see them the next day and finally talk about it. “i told you, so.” (i’m not sure if i should put a comma between the word you and so). disclaimer is as important as breakfast.

in all honesty. because of this book i am currently reading, punched me right on the brain on my self-righteous sense of believing about my myself being right at something. i was wrong. and to pass this bad feelings you are wrong, too. and them. and all of us.

here’s the thing, if i write a hundreds of blogs and nobody ever tried to read it(which is why i keep writing) and to others, this idea of writing a blog without the reader, just didn’t make sense because what for is the blog without a reader? first of all, why do they even care if i don’t have a reader. i have one reader and critic. and that is me (the supportive side of me).

so i’m gonna talk about making mistakes. 

i failed at something and it was my mistake. but what is the other option? own it. learn from it. and learning from it doesn’t necessarily make you do the right thing. it will only lead you to do less mistake. and lesser and lesser(and i haven’t done it right so, i am not going to conclude yet). 

the truth is, everybody make mistakes, everybody lies, everybody cheated on someone or some test(i did it once, when the proctor went out, and i glanced on google. it was his fault). somewhere along a friendship or a relationship or a familyship(really?) had accused someone mistakenly because they thought they’re right. no. actually they only have right to feel accusing somebody(for emotional purposes) but actually, the accusation was all wrong, they’re just being subjective(unless the proof was practically proven).

as simple as this title goes. we all make mistakes. and if you don’t make mistakes, YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. if you disagree. then there you go, you just made your first mistake.

learn!

coffee talk | when i caught myself

title is inspired by the paramore song. i assume only few had heard about it. if you’ve heard about it, you’re cool. if you haven’t, then you don’t have to. this isn’t the time for wasteful stuffs. but their very latest album is out by the way. just so you know.

i caught myself. again. having an urge to write. to say something about this. what is this? this writing. well, i caught myself on an intense pressure. very intense i can’t get my head straight. so i need to do something about it. and this is what i have to do. write.

after napping for a couple of minutes. got up and continue this.

no. stop right there. after a couple of days, literally, continuing to write this. see, this generation right now screws everything up (i have to blame the contemporary life so i can feel a little bit better). i watched youtube. there you go. confession. x games. i missed the last year’s so i am coping up. it was saturday so it wasn’t really that a threat to my guilt of - why i wasn’t working on my thesis and instead wasting my time on youtube x games. and this, blog. WASTED! and this morning i spent time hanging out cycling. learning on brakes. meeting mr. sun’s first rise. YEAH! goal!!!

going back to what is this intense pressure. (finally, i am going to talk something useful, yeay!) catching yourself doing something completely unrelated to what you suppose to do. like to me, people have been asking “what are you doing, jo? why can’t you finish your thesis?” no, they didn’t really asked that. what actually upsets me, is that, they didn’t even bother to ask that. they’re asking me like, “when are you going to graduate?” or somewhatlike, “are your parents coming over for your graduation?” oh man! i haven’t finish the book i am into right now, let me finish it and we’ll talk later. my head is screaming!

coffee.

the truth is. i can’t force it people. i am just doing what i am able to do. and when i say caught myself. it means. my anxiety of not getting THERE! that there screws my heads up until is start feeling a headache. and a gallon of water won’t help. so why am i writing this? simple. it is my catharsis. it is my only relief. i am not good at talking my emotion with someone. i can give an advice. but i prefer to bury that emotional explosive someone else doesn’t deserve to listen to. so, i needed to come up with substitute. 

writing.

not legitimate writings but at least do something. do something about it. that “intense pressure”. and you’ll find yourself coming out from it. not ignoring it, but the avoidance of emotional break down. easier said than done. but it works on me. all the time.

peace.

coffee talk | it is friday

it's friday and it's 11 am.

ramadhan is coming and there are only days to count. i'm not sure if i'm ready or not. but i'm pretty sure i was waiting for this long before this year has started.

it's friday and i am here. alone. sitting. writing. thinking. and planning.

i need coffee.

friday is always been a special day for me. a day to restart. to rethink. reevaluate. remember. revenge. (kidding!). it's a day for me where i get myself back together if i have missed or lost it.

i am writing this one for gratitude.

i am writing this with the realization of being fortunate.

i am writing this with the fact that i am having less problem than others.

i am writing this to tell myself that whatever that is probably going to happen, good or bad. i can always get through it. and handle it, actually. wink*

i am writing this. because it makes me feel good.

i am writing this. because i feel my life is special.

i am sharing this thoughts on you. because i think, your life is special too.

and if you get this short tech-notes of mine because you love fridays too. high five! and i wish you all happiness and may Allah showers you all much blessings.

have a great day!

18 April 2017

ooh batu!

currently my present address. campus dormitory. and i am very fortunate enough to have this pleasant accommodation i need to write about, because sooner or later,  i will be leaving and forever be missing this beautiful exceptional city!

3 reasons why i fell in love with in batu...

1 - cool weather and green setting.

from morning to evening. it's just a perfect place where i can feel the resort sense of ambiance. not just because i am in the 4th floor of this building where i live and feeling just the right amount of wind and sun rays coming through my  balcony but also the green scenery right in front of my eyes everytime i look outside and take in some fresh air. and perfect. very much like on a vacay mode!

2 - quiet and calm.

not much crowded.i love how i feel i can walk around not bumping in to someone you used to know already. as i've said. like on a vacay mode! and also, it is a good place where  you can study and focus. there's not much distractions such as nearby mall, although it is reachable by a transportation. you just don't want to spent that much time roaming around a distant mall. unless urgent necessities.

3 - long roads, and up hills.

yes, this is the most exciting part for me. i loooove motorcyling. i love driving. i love being on the road. i love the rush. i love everything about long driving and that risky nerve wrecking feelings of going up and down through hills. i will drive. no matter what, no matter where. we will race.

so far in 5 months experiencing batu city. friends, family, nearby friends had visited me through this short period of time and none of them had said negative about this fortunate setting of place i am in right now.

as i have said... much like on a vacation mode!

everyday is a special day. and i thank God.

coffee talk | the long lost blogger

i was in whatsApp when one of my friend screenshotted my very latest blog and sent it to me.

i was struck and slapped right in the face.

and here i am. unstoppable and excited to share some thoughts of what has been going on for a very long time.

here are few highlight of what's been happening the past months(aaaakh! it's been far too long, and i don't even know where to start.)

1. two of my sister came over to visit us in indonesia. i wish i can express how much i really enjoyed their visit and our trips together. it's ecstatic! i would love to have them again and plan for trips with them. it's worth to preserve those memories. *sigh! 

2. i went home. i needed a break. from everything. my mind was so occupied i even stopped doing my thesis on process.(don't worry i'm back) things i should ponder because they were important and may find answer at distant.

3. i am gaining weight, big time! 6 pounds in 2 months. well, some will argue that i am having the ideal weight for my height, some have said "hey, you need to lose some weight" really, it's a big deal. back home is like a year of eating party. plus, my brother in law just came from saudi arabia. chocolates. yey! choco-gain. not bragging about the fact that my family, cousins and friends everywhere are monster eaters and to think they are considering me as "lost in pounds" because i don't eat the same food after years of living away from home.

4. i find it hard to count our philippine money. heeeerk! everytime i go out, buy something, eat somewhere, pay for fares. i. just. need. someone. with. me. a chaperon. it's a vacation at home. i don't want to think about this stuff while having my big stuff ahead. let the chaperon do it's job. haha!

5. lost a usb flash drive for the 6th times. i'm such a keeper. but flash drives are just exceptional. if things get seriously continue like this, i would invent a flash drive that would crawl back to me everytime i push that button. aaah, human will steel it.

6. went on to a one day adventure with my fam. zip line is the catch! the experience is just wonderful. it's extremely good.

7. spent a week in manila before leaving. my sister and i pull off some side trips and we enjoyed it a lot! i'm so thankful for her company. i'll never forget it. 

8. no rest after a fly. i arrived in indonesia and within the week i need to exhaust myself on another trips for our friend visiting the country. tasnim. it's been 4 years from the last time i saw her. i'm glad that she came. reunited but then separated again. i didn't cry though. no hugs. i'm not good at it too. 

9. stories that untold.

thank you for reading. i hope to be blogging more regularly now!

2017. YOU ARE MINE! 

peace!

coffee talk | Decision Making

i think every person you meet previously and presently affects you somehow. some people you end up loving and others, well they're just passing through. and a piece of them always stays with you, good or bad. so over time, you collect people and maybe you don't remember every single one of them but that doesn't mean they haven't affected you. for better or worse, they've change you.

“you are everyone you meet in your life”. i just love reading. random stuffs on google, book titles, and sometimes i stuck in its descriptions. then if it's interesting to me, then i guess i found a new buddy for a few days. so with this quote i've mention above, i so believe in that. every single person we meet in our life is a part of us. whether they were someone we shared our life with, they influenced us in a good way, they hurt us and made us learn a valuable lesson, they were mean and so we vowed not to be mean like them, whether the person wore something we liked, smiled and warmed our heart, made us laugh, or cry, all that, is part of us. and so how can any two people possibly be identical? never.

i'm happy, contented and committed to improving myself. i was taking my life seriously back then. terrified of what am i going to turn out doing the next phase. but then, life has been so great. it taught me how not to take things seriously. i mean, just be it. walk through it. if you have to run, then run. and then, there comes the tests, but don't stop. life will goes on and on. i've heard people trying to fix their problem in attempting to end their lives. well, that's never the solution. shame on them, they lack understanding of what life could be if only they face it. and i'm not here to preach. and it's hard to write.

"i will make the rest of my life the best of my life" this isn't just a thought for me. it is actually one of the reason i am writing this piece of blog. i want to express and share and treasure this concept of doing the best of anyone else's life. it is sort of an affirmation that life ahead is expected to be the best. i am. i do. God will always be there. the Great and He promises to provide us. Faith make all things possible. i repeat, i'm not preaching i insist even though i sound like one.

moving on. since this is a personal blog, i decide what i write.

and so, i'm still talking about decision making and i think this is the very most tough part of our lives. from small things to big. it always comes with a choice, this or that, now or later, stop or continue. so many things you have to come up with and unconsciously deciding in every small things we are encountering at least for a day to day basis. and i was actually battling this few months from a decision i had to take. and finally i have come up with the best one. see, i need to say it's the best, if not, then what is the purpose of believing in yourself? it has been rough for me, people around me would ask WHY but then they have their own life to live up with. not mine. if i let them decide for me, for what i have to do and what i have to take, then where am i standing? for whose life? i shouldn't be sane then.

letting anyone decide for you is the worst thing. we take advises, thoughts, but it should end up depending on us. i am so grateful for every little things in this life that has taught me. and for whatever reason, there's no way i could say life is unfair. NO. it is absolutely amazing. and we make it the best. and we keep improving. it's an endless experience we should penetrate. because we are who we are based on our experiences in life. nobody has ever walked on my shoes, nobody have had overcome my obstacles. i take advises, but of course, i decide for myself. it's on me. and it should be everyone else has to do too for themselves.

*wink!