it's been 52 days i've been recording almost everything. daily activities from morning 'til evening. and i thought it is about time to put an end to it. the fact that i could keep up till this day is a big achievement to me already. i have faced the challenge. regardless of my writing skills. grammar skills and a kind of person i am. which is absolutely under the category of the ones that's not really a fan of specifying one's emotion. and i think that had made me more... oh, i'm not good at this. so the challenge, considering its uncertain end, i supposed i have gained so much self-discipline in keeping it daily. it's hard. but with all the honesty-non-fiction stories i have made right there, it's not really that difficult to put up words and look for something that's not there. everything happen in hands. it's a no-brainer work. but discipline is what kept me writing.
it's a challenge i, myself had to work out with. nobody is ever going to pull out such a challenge that doesn't have sure end. but i started this challenge. i didn't even put an ultimatum in it. not set. and i know why i did that. i want to see how far i can go. how many days i can get to keep up writing. even one word i thought i will write and post just to see if this crap inside me is under my control. rock on!
"every beginning has an end"
i wish i could keep doing this. but as what my professor said in one of his lecture, you can't hold two water melon in one hand. sometimes, we do need to focus on something to attain what we should be doing. the real goal. although it seems unclear what the future holds, i still believe in the act of the process, and the reward after it. and that process would lead us to somewhere we are ordained. just do it!
be different!
is what i have profoundly learn from this challenge. you know that moment when you really have to go to the corner and write something because you are oblige to. yes, that is the greatest challenge i had to get through every single time i needed to write. call me loner but i needed to be a hero.
"improve yourself everyday"
being better everyday in every aspect of all the activity is one hell of an obligation. a compulsory i thought every individual is committed to, willingly or unwillingly. i am getting mad! there's no way we could let a day without learning something. and i do regret days i thought i didn't do a thing. it's funny how i always thought about me being so different from the past few years ago. every time i contemplate on me trying to seek another new knowledge or skills, i felt like i know nothing. i even hate to feel the disappointment after watching somebody with my age throwing some knowledge or even worse possessed it. i'm dumb. and i guess this is what makes me a hungry person.
the more you socialize, the more you learn
back then, i was this kind of person who doesn't know how to deal with people outside the house. i am not taking any jokes, i'll even cry sometimes. secretly. fast forward a few years, i eventually started to see people around me. what they wear. what they say. and sometimes even what they think. and i call that superpower. inside me. i became more observable at almost everything. and i'm not proud of this one. it is disturbing when all you want to do is to focus at something more relevant. however, i find it very easy for me to socialize having this unusual character. being keen and alert all the time saves me from reckless act and unnecessary activities. and the opposite is what i called having fun.
blogging
focusing and concentrating at something separates you from everything else. one very good example is reading a book. writing blog. playing games on your phone. even the very basic one, listening to a lecture on youtube. if you want to get the best out of something, you have to focus on it. like i didn't know how i got into writing but there is this day i told myself i wanted to write. i don't know where to start or how to, but i just wanted to write. anything. something. i am not really that fan of grammar but if don't do this, i won't be able to see how far does my ability would brought me. but hey, progress is a progress. i got this far. blogging is not an easy task. somebody is going to pick on my writings. i thought of this before. i got worried. i couldn't post anything. thinking about being criticized somewhere down the road is a torture.
to write is to read
i was frightened, nervous, and reluctant just by thinking about my writing being criticized until i've read this one blog on "how to be a writer". one word i grasped and until now it drives me on keeping the writing habit and that is what the authors said "WRITE!". that moment when my eyes hit on this word -if you want to be a writer, then "WRITE!". it's powerful and if you are reading this. i'm telling you, it worked on me.
expose yourself
i am 26 and i just started to get to know myself around 24. and i literally paused and think about the years behind me. what have i done? what was i before? how people looked at me? described me? i have no idea. i don't know what part on earth made me a person that has made me who i am right now but all i know is i just started living. and thank God for making me realize this. it's an inside urgent for me to explore who i am and do things on my own and be dedicated in anything i say or do. otherwise it wouldn't make any sense at all.
let others be inspired.
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